Just the other day I was flipping through my baby Album pictures and I saw how my mom and Dad took pictures of me and labeled them how old I was for special memories . And at that moment I felt so sweet and heartfelt and at that moment I knew on a deeper level how very wanted I was and how special I was to my mom and Dad ,even before my parents met me they took pictures of the bump to show me one day I was the one inside her tummy.It has always been important to me that I make a conscious choice to become a parent and that I wait until I’m really ready to take on the responsibilities of parenthood But at times things don’t happen the way planned .
So here I am, just 4 to 6 weeks away from my “guess date” and I’ve decided to write a letter to my baby to welcome him or her. I notice that the closer I get to giving birth, the more my thoughts are turning inward. I’m beginning to focus on the center of my universe more than ever before. I’m preparing my nest,and enjoying the quiet alone times. So, rather than sharing some new parenting tip or technique blah blah, I’m just sharing from my own heart. And I hope you enjoy this special blog. So, here’s my letter to my about to be born baby.
Dear Baby Arianna Kanyihu,
Wow, you’re almost here and am so excited to finally meet you. I have been waiting for you for 9 long months and pretty soon I will get to see you, touch you, and gaze into your beautiful eyes. I’m especially looking forward to holding you in my arms and nuzzling your sweet smelling head. Let’s spend hours together just cuddling, nursing, sleeping, and enjoying life together. I can’t wait to be your mama. I’ve been preparing to be the best mama since I discovered I was expectant with you and I feel so ready to welcome you into my life. I’ve studied everything I could about how to be a good parent, how to help you learn and grow, and how to be the best example I can be for you and your brother. Taking care of you and teaching you how to take good care of yourself sounds like the most fun and rewarding thing I could possibly do in my life. Thanks for helping me fulfill my life’s purpose.Oh I forgot to tell you am loud and my laugh is so loud as well so please don’t cry or get afraid when you hear me talking or laughing lol that’s just me your mama . Just wait till you meet your Big brother. He’s fantastic. I just know he’s going to be such a wonderful brother to you,he has the biggest, most beautiful heart, his name is Dylan. Well he talks a lot at times and I honestly feel like I can mute him if there was a remote control available but just know he is an awesome brother who is playful and ready to sing for you baby Jesus song when you cry. He cares so deeply,that he has always reminded me to take my pregna care medicine. At first he had not yet come to terms another baby is coming but with time he now understands and welcomes you as well.I completely trust him to take exquisite care of you when you need him always which is really the most important task of been a big brother. And on top of all that, he’s hilarious! we are sure to have lots and lots of laughter and fun in our home.
Arianna you have to embrace yourself because you have crazy Aunties,there are sick, well not that sick like admission type but lets just say the ones who are supposed to be checked in to a mental hospital, I guess ward 7 Mathare hospital suits them.All in all I love them so much they have helped me so much ,made me laugh and encouraged me when I felt like all is not well.I must admit baby you have made me so emotional.I would cry like every time, anywhere But as one of your aunt who is a strong woman wrote to me A quote I shall always remember. She said “Strength is a hard thing to master…..I have realized that accepting weakness is strength in itself”.I wont lie to you baby it was not easy at first when I discovered I was pregnant with you,I had to make tough decisions which led to losing some people and somethings But I don’t regret any of the decision I made because at the end of the tunnel I know the joy you have/shall bring into my life .As the saying goes A baby is never a mistake,A surprise sometimes But never a mistake,A baby is always a Blessing and I wish everyone would know that and stop the killing and throwing away of innocent souls.There is someone out there who cant bring forth such a beautiful soul and it hurts them so much to see all this cruelty going on.Baby Arrianna some did Reject you, but as Td Jakes preaches and say let them walk for no one is tied to your destiny.You are loved by so many baby and never feel like you were a mistake. OK, enough of that am getting emotional.I remember the first day I went for a scan at Nairobi hospital you were 18 weeks and I was with Juliet known as mama Aiden. I wanted to tear up just the fact of seeing you for the first time and been told you are OK BUT I couldn’t cry nor allow myself to be emotional because I was with one emotional person woi Juliet would have cried till I would be the one trying to calm her down lol,Told you have special aunts.I recall how I kept looking at the scan and cried and prayed that all shall be well and here we are, Imela Papa.Clinic days started and all was always OK.Until one day I broke down Honestly It was unexpected but I broke down not that I had bad result from the doctor but its because I had so much expectation and wished so many things would be OK but the truth of the matter they were not but as it is I have managed to brush them off and here we are Baby.
Happiness starts within yourself Never wait for someone to ever come and make you happy.I learnt that Baby the hard way but I had a choice to make.A choice to enjoy this pregnancy no matter what comes my way,to floss my baby bump,to dress my bump so well and to be the prettiest paged woman,to go out of towns and dancing.To love my self and never be sad or mad since baby it was going to affect you.It was hard yes at first but God is able to make a way out of no way.It is always the darkest just before dawn of a new day.If you just hold on,things are going to get better.God does not put more on you than you can bear.So all the trials we go through are always to make us strong and to hold on and never to give up and here we are with Gods grace I made it through Arianna .One of my deepest hopes is that we can always communicate openly with each other, that no matter what’s happening, you know you can always come to me, share whatever’s on your heart and I will always love you no matter what. There may be times when we wont like each other very much, but even then, please know, that I love you dearly, deeply, and without conditions. And even in times when you think you don’t, I will remember that you love us me and your brother. Because that’s how it is in our family, we practice unconditional love and acceptance no matter what the circumstances. So, welcome to life on Earth, and welcome to your family. May you be surrounded by love, inspired to learn and grow, and always know that you are deeply cherished.
So much love,
Your Mom I’m curious